How to make a sound editor program in notepad?

can someone teach me how to make a program that will access my the microphone port on my card to let me edit incoming sound to where i can add effects like wah-wah's and distortions like i'd be able to with all the foot-pedals and special equipment for guitars. i want it to work like an amp to allow me to adjust the volume, tone, treble, middle, bass, all those things but be able to do all the sepcial effect you can do with all that fancy equipment....thankyou